“I don’t care how much you know, until I know how much you care!”

“I don’t care how much you know, until I know how much you care!”

Those were the words spoken to me by my mother when I asked her opinion on blog titles. My first choices were “Have PhD. Will Write.” and “Trust me, I’m a PhD.” My mother thought both were too much for a general audience, the targets of my blog focus. I explained to her my concept and goals for this blog and I will now share them with you.  I want to connect with readers and talk about how I rebooted my life and give tips, advice, recipes, answer questions, comments, and everything in between on how I did it and continue to do it each and every new day.  I will begin with a story.

Four years ago this month, I sat down for an interview with a program director at the University of Tennessee-Knoxville. I had applied to the program for graduate school to earn a Master’s degree. I felt very confident going into the interview as I had a great undergraduate transcript, lots of extracurricular activities, and a high GRE score. I had also worked two plus years in research industries and health care services. Needless to say, I thought my acceptance was a given. During the interview, my outlook began to change.  By the end of the interview, I was told that I was essentially too nice, too lazy and too stupid for the program and that I needed to try another field.  I held it together until I got to my car, then I lost it. I felt so horrible about myself and my prospects. After a few minutes, I was angry at her, but angrier with myself. That day, I vowed I would show her and everyone else who said I couldn’t do something.  I’m proud to say that last week, I completed my PhD degree in Comparative and Experimental Medicine.  During my time at UT, I won many awards and additionally earned the respect of my peers.

The reason for my story isn’t to stick it to those who said I couldn’t do it, but to inspire others to not let anyone tell you that you can’t do something or make you feel less about yourself!! If I had let her or anyone else get my down, I may never have gotten back up again.  I mentioned that I was deemed “too lazy”. This should be explained, not to validate her claim, but to educate others, so that you (the reader) won’t make the same mistake.  On April 19^th, 2005, I was in a motor vehicle accident which left me physically, mentally, and financially handicapped.  I underwent multiple surgeries and rounds of physical therapy and still suffered with chronic pain. It wasn’t until March 2007, that I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. In case you don’t know what fibromyalgia is, fibromyalgia (FM) is a chronic pain disorder characterized by diffuse pain, chronic fatigue, non-restorative sleep, functional disability, and mood disturbance. It is estimated that 2% of the United States population have FM and that the majority of those sufferers are women. Currently, the diagnosis of FM is challenging and often long-suffering as there are no laboratory tests to confirm the condition.  FM is not progressive or fatal but FM patients report severe disability and are high utilizers of health care resources. The cause of FM is unknown. 

Thankfully, I’m characterized as a high-functioning FM patient, but depending on the day, time, weather, etc., that classification changes. I’ve been blessed that I have an understanding family and group of friends as many sufferers don’t have such blessings.  As soon as I was diagnosed, I was ashamed and didn’t want to tell anyone for fear of how others would react. I still haven’t actually told many of my family and friends and have gotten pretty good at hiding it. Doing so, I have let my FM treat me the same way that program director did so many years ago.

Today, I reboot again and tell FM and anything and anyone else, that I can do all things and will do all things that I set my mind to do. Over the next year, I will be starting my own biotechnology company along with losing weight and restoring my health.  I hope that you (the readers) join me on this journey and share with me and others your triumphs and trials. As my mother says, “I don’t care how much you know, until I know how much you care!” I care, and I hope you do too J