Believe in Yourself

So, it’s been awhile since my last post. I could say that life got in the way, which would be true, but I really couldn’t think of what to write about. I decided just to vent, letting it all out. You want to vent? This is the place!

I started about 2 weeks ago with my new trainer, Zealous Zach (a story for another day), and have been hating it ever since. Don’t get me wrong, I like Zach, but he has been kicking my butt! While I appreciate the intensity of the workouts, my body isn’t responding well.  On Monday of last week, I had mentioned to Zach that I’m really not good at the Jacob’s ladder. If you don’t know what that is, it’s a “comprehensive workout that is easy on the joints, excellent for cardiovascular health and muscular development”. That was a quote from the manufacturers of the exercise machine and here is a picture. 

I refer to it as a never-ending climb to HELL. Anyway, having mentioned that I loathed this machine, Zach decided that I should do it for 2 whole minutes. A horrible 2 minutes of my life that I will never get back. Topping it off was the skinny ninny beside me not even breaking a sweat and climbing about a mile a minute. After our Tuesday workout last week, “The Accumulator” (a story for another day), I couldn’t walk. Seriously.  The muscles in my legs wouldn’t relax and I had to use a walker to get around my house.  My self-esteem hit a new low.

Then I went to the doctor for a physical and he proceeded to tell me that I would feel so much better if I was skinny. Really? My fibromyalgia would just magically go away if I lost weight? He lectured me about this weight loss clinic where they control everything that goes into your mouth and the calories are restricted to 800 calories a day. On 800 calories a day anyone would lose weight! However, what happens when I eat 810 calories one day?  I’ll balloon up like the Goodyear Blimp. Anyway, needless to say I left feeling even lower and my self-esteem managed to fall yet again.

I have to say the week ended on a better note as I got to hang out with my best friends. On Friday night, I co-hosted a bachelorette party for my friend, Becca. She is getting married on September 22, so we are counting down the days and praying our dresses fit. The party ended with everyone having a great time and stating that it was the best bachelorette party that they have ever been attended!  I wish I could show you pictures, but what happens at the bachelorette party stays at the bachelorette party! 

I think this week’s lesson was that you have to believe in yourself and know your strengths and weaknesses. Don’t be afraid to stand up for what you know is right. For my Friday workout, I was honest with Zach about how I felt and he altered the workout to accommodate my injuries. He also reformatted the rest of our workouts to incorporate more stretching so my muscles don’t get so tight. Others may look at that as a cop-out or blame my lack of weight loss on my inability to jack up the intensity level, but I know the truth.  I don’t want to be skinny. I want to be healthy and the best me I can be. I hope you all feel the same way. Don’t let life or anyone else get you down! Until next time!