One of Those Days

Have you ever had one of those days when nothing seems to go right? Lately, I've been having a lot of those and it's really doing a number on my self-esteem. I've shared with you my struggles with weight loss and some about my health issues.  I have fibromyalgia and with that comes a milieu of associated problems. Aside from the chronic pain, the hardest one is depression. 

Depression can be described as feeling sad, blue, unhappy, miserable, or down in the dumps. Most of us feel this way at one time or another for short periods. However, when it interferes with your everyday life, it can be a huge problem. Today, I decided to write about depression to educate non-sufferers, and to empower those who live with it like I do. It is not something to be ashamed of or to hide. I've been told everything including that it's my own fault I'm depressed to my depression would go away if I didn't sin so much. Anyway, without further ado...

The exact cause of depression is unknown. Many researchers and physicians believe it is caused by chemical changes in the brain, which could be due to genetics, triggered by certain stressful events, or as part of another disorder/disease. More than likely, it's a combination of several factors. 

Depression can change or distort the way you see yourself, your life, and those around you. People who have depression usually see the negative in everything. This is my problem. However, I tend to over think everything LOL. 

Symptoms of depression can include:

• Agitation, restlessness, and irritability
• Becoming withdrawn or isolated
• Difficulty concentrating
• Dramatic change in appetite, often with weight gain or loss
• Fatigue and lack of energy
• Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness
• Feelings of worthlessness, self-hate, and guilt
• Loss of interest or pleasure in activities that were once enjoyed
• Thoughts of death or suicide
• Trouble sleeping or too much sleeping

Depression can appear as anger and discouragement, rather than feelings of sadness.

In general, treatments for depression include:

• Medications called antidepressants
• Talk therapy, called psychotherapy

If you have mild depression, you may only need one of these treatments. People with more severe depression usually need a combination of both treatments. It takes time to feel better, but there are usually day-to-day improvements. I'm a fan of talk therapy as it gives you an outlet to vent your feelings in a neutral environment and a good sounding board to help you sort out your issues. 

Talk therapy is counseling to talk about your feelings and thoughts, and help you learn how to deal with them.

Types of talk therapy include:

• Cognitive behavioral therapy teaches you how to fight off negative thoughts. You will learn how to become more aware of your symptoms and how to spot things that make your depression worse. You'll also be taught problem-solving skills.
• Psychotherapy can help you understand the issues that may be behind your thoughts and feelings.
• Joining a support group of people who are sharing problems like yours can also help. Ask your therapist or doctor for a recommendation.

If your thoughts and feelings turn suicidal, or if you are extremely depressed, seek help immediately! You are not alone. People are there to help you. If you have thoughts of suicide or harming yourself or others, immediately call your local emergency number (such as 911) or go to the hospital emergency room.

You may also call a suicide hotline from anywhere in the United States, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week: 1-800-SUICIDE or 1-800-999-9999.

I hope this post helps someone other than me. Don't be afraid to talk about your problems. Thanks for reading! God bless :)

Believe in Yourself

So, it’s been awhile since my last post. I could say that life got in the way, which would be true, but I really couldn’t think of what to write about. I decided just to vent, letting it all out. You want to vent? This is the place!

I started about 2 weeks ago with my new trainer, Zealous Zach (a story for another day), and have been hating it ever since. Don’t get me wrong, I like Zach, but he has been kicking my butt! While I appreciate the intensity of the workouts, my body isn’t responding well.  On Monday of last week, I had mentioned to Zach that I’m really not good at the Jacob’s ladder. If you don’t know what that is, it’s a “comprehensive workout that is easy on the joints, excellent for cardiovascular health and muscular development”. That was a quote from the manufacturers of the exercise machine and here is a picture. 

I refer to it as a never-ending climb to HELL. Anyway, having mentioned that I loathed this machine, Zach decided that I should do it for 2 whole minutes. A horrible 2 minutes of my life that I will never get back. Topping it off was the skinny ninny beside me not even breaking a sweat and climbing about a mile a minute. After our Tuesday workout last week, “The Accumulator” (a story for another day), I couldn’t walk. Seriously.  The muscles in my legs wouldn’t relax and I had to use a walker to get around my house.  My self-esteem hit a new low.

Then I went to the doctor for a physical and he proceeded to tell me that I would feel so much better if I was skinny. Really? My fibromyalgia would just magically go away if I lost weight? He lectured me about this weight loss clinic where they control everything that goes into your mouth and the calories are restricted to 800 calories a day. On 800 calories a day anyone would lose weight! However, what happens when I eat 810 calories one day?  I’ll balloon up like the Goodyear Blimp. Anyway, needless to say I left feeling even lower and my self-esteem managed to fall yet again.

I have to say the week ended on a better note as I got to hang out with my best friends. On Friday night, I co-hosted a bachelorette party for my friend, Becca. She is getting married on September 22, so we are counting down the days and praying our dresses fit. The party ended with everyone having a great time and stating that it was the best bachelorette party that they have ever been attended!  I wish I could show you pictures, but what happens at the bachelorette party stays at the bachelorette party! 

I think this week’s lesson was that you have to believe in yourself and know your strengths and weaknesses. Don’t be afraid to stand up for what you know is right. For my Friday workout, I was honest with Zach about how I felt and he altered the workout to accommodate my injuries. He also reformatted the rest of our workouts to incorporate more stretching so my muscles don’t get so tight. Others may look at that as a cop-out or blame my lack of weight loss on my inability to jack up the intensity level, but I know the truth.  I don’t want to be skinny. I want to be healthy and the best me I can be. I hope you all feel the same way. Don’t let life or anyone else get you down! Until next time!